My Mom

         My mom died Tuesday night at 7:00 after a massive heart attach.  Last year she had a heart attach after my family left Idaho and went back to Iowa.  The doctor's said she had "Broken Heart Syndrome" from just being too sad which is just so much like my mom that she could have a heart attach from being so sad to have her grandchildren leave.  We had year of her not being able to visit and we kept planning to get together this June.  My kids having been saying, "I miss Grandma" for a year now and we have been promising they would be able to see her.  Then Monday night my sister called and said my mom had had another heart attach or at least that's what they thought it was.  My sister just moved from Arkansas to Idaho which fulfilled a dream of hers and my moms to have them closer.  They were at the museum having fun and that's where it happened.  They called an ambulance and all night I got phone calls updating me.  We really had no idea how bad it was so I assumed it was like last time so I tried to not stress.  Then I found out they were driving my mom to Salt Lake in an ambulance.

     Tuesday morning I took my kids to the park because I couldn't stay home and be stressed out about my mom and I didn't know what to do so I went there to make phone calls.  That is when my brother who is a nurse anestitist called to tell me it was bad.  Then my sister called and told me they didn't think my mom was going to make it so we all had to get to Utah ASAP.  

So a friend offered to take the Girl Child to school and I ran home with MC2 to find Brent.  We only have one cell phone so I ran home to e-mail him and when he didn't e-mail me back I went out to his field site in hopes to find him there.  I'm so lucky he was there and he immediately jumped in the van and we ran home to find me a plane ticket.  He offered to keep all the kids with him but I have never left my kids and we had no idea how long I would be gone or anything so I insisted on taking the youngest with me.  I also knew I needed a comfort object and he was it.  I'm glad I did.  We went through hours on the computer trying to find a flight and we thought we got one but then it was full after we tried to buy it.  Then we tried every conceivable way to get there by flying out from different cities but finally realized I would have to fly Wednesday morning.  At this time our dryer also broke while I was trying to do some laundry so I would have clothes to pack.  

Wednesday night my brother called to tell me my mom's body wasn't handling the surgery.  She had too much internal bleeding and the doctors thought she was going to die during the night so my dad decided to take my mom off all the machines that were on her and let her die in peace.  

MC1 came into the room while I was on the phone and said he knew Grandma had died.  So he and I cried together for a 1/2 hour without even saying a word.  Then we gathered the family together and I told the kids.  MC2 thought we were all playing a really funny game and started pretend crying and blowing his nose in a tissue.  Then he would pat us all on the back and say, "Its okay.  Don't cry."

The Girl Child just gave a talk in Primary on the resurrection of Jesus Christ so she was adamant that Grandma would wake up.  She kept asking would it happen in five minutes?  1 day?  I told her it would take a very long time after we all died.  Then she started crying because she didn't want to get old.  Would she die?  Would Mom die?  Would Cinnamon die?!!!!  MC1 understood everything more but he had a really hard time because of it.  They loved my mom so much.  We tried to talk about all the fun things we have done with Grandma before.  We ended up having the kids sleep together on the floor in the Girl Child's room so no one would have to be alone.  They stayed up really late and the Girl Child kept coming out of her room to get a hug.  

Sometimes the Girl Child is hard to love.  She is obstinate at times and super stubborn, but Grandma always saw the best in her Grandchildren and always knew how to talk the Girl Child.  Her mantra was, "Grandma loves me."  She always brags to her friends how much her Grandma loves her.  "My grandma loves me more than all the houses." She begs to call Grandma at least four times a week.

With a lot of help from friends I was able to leave Wednesday morning and Brent had people who watched kids for him while he prepared them to drive down.  It was MC2's first time flying and he did great.  He didn't love it but he was really patient.  Brent booked my flight so I didn't look at it carefully like I would normally do and came extremely unprepared for my first 3 and 1/2 hour flight.  Thankfully some people in our ward gave us a Lightning McQueen car and a Mater car we had been saving for his birthday so I brought those with me.  I had not slept well the night before my flight so I went in and out of sleep during that first flight while MC2 played with his new cars.  Occasionally he would yell, "Wake up Mommy!"  I also fed him a breakfast of chips and Milk Duds.  When we got off the plane he said, "Go home?  Where brother?"

Our second flight was delayed.  Two of the three lavatories were broken so they wouldn't let us take off so I fed Calvin and did crazy things to keep him awake until they could get us a new plane.  Miraculously this happened way faster than I have ever seen before.  A nice lady moved for us so I could sit by him and that flight went really well.  At take off he did stand up on his seat with his arms outstretched to scream, "I'M FLYING!"  Then he fell asleep for the rest of the flight.  Many people complimented me on my great traveler.  

Then I got off the plane and found my entire family waiting for me outside of security.  Even though my mom had died the night before no one left for Idaho before I got there so every one of my siblings and their husbands/wives and their children and my Dad were there to great me.  I off course instantly started crying but I was determined not to do that to everyone so I slipped to the side and breathed deeply for a few seconds before I went out the door to see them.  

Then we drove four hours to get to Idaho.  MC2 really wanted to go home still but he dealt with all the craziness.  

The next day everyone of us woke up at 5 AM because we couldn't sleep and ended up in the family room crying together.  So then we planned the funeral.  I spent the day with my sister looking through pictures of my mom.  Everyone always said how much I look like her and the pictures of her as a little girl look exactly like mine.  

        My mother was unable to have children for a long time so my parents adopted my oldest brother.  Then four little miracles followed and they had the family they always wanted.  We are all extremely close in age and sometimes I can’t fathom how my mom did it.  Her own mother died when she was a teenager and she worked hard trying to be the best mom she could.  She read parenting book after parenting book and tried all kinds of things to make us the best people we could be.  Her own father had favorites so she worked hard to make us all know how much she loved each of us, so much that I believe we all think we were her favorite.

                Her first grandchild was born on her birthday and she said it was the best birthday present she ever had.  She has loved each of her grandchildren deeply.  She saw the good in each of her grandchildren and sometimes exaggerated their good qualities.  She thought each one was a genius in their own way.  She was so patient with each of them and had an amazing ability to teach them things.

                Growing up my mom was Wonder Woman.  She was an amazing cook, kept our house spotless, spent individual time with each of her five children, taught first and second grade school and was an amazing teacher, and magnified each calling she was given.  She touched countless lives during her span on this earth.  Children would approach us everywhere we went and get so excited to see Mrs. Jensen.
        Since she died people having been leaving us messages and coming over and calling and I have come to realize how many people loved her.  She was such a wonderful person.  All my friends growing up loved being at my house because my mom was so welcoming and always had really good food.
    I loved going shopping with my mom.  I really just loved following her wherever she went.  I would plan the menu with her and then go shopping.  She always made it fun and we always shared some kind of treat during the trip.  I don't think my siblings ever knew the perks of shopping with her, but I did.  I loved cooking with her and going to help her in her classroom at school.  I wanted to be a teacher my entire life because of her even when I was really little.  My senior year in high school I even spent a semester in her classroom two hours every other day.  People all over the both school districts knew her and it was really easy being her daughter while student teaching and doing all my practicum classes.  I was even offered a job by the principal of the school I student taught in because he had worked with my mom and knew she was such an awesome teacher.  She taught my children things whenever she was with them.  They also always talked so much better after being around her.  We always said a week with Grandma is worth a month of school.
    Children everywhere loved her and would approach us at the store like she was this big celebrity.  Even after she retired because of healthy problems she would make friends with kids wherever she went and could remember all of the names of the grandchildren's friends.  
   Since she has died the hardest thing has been that I can't call her and tell her what I'm feeling right now.  I want to tell her how MC2 stood on his seat and yelled "I'm Flying!"during our flight.  I want to tell her that her basement she worried about and renovated for the last year looks wonderful.  I want her to ask me when Brent is ever going to graduate?  I feel bad for our baby who will never know her and what a great grandma she was.  If she hadn't been so wonderful this wouldn't be so hard.
    When the Girl Child was born people in our ward were amazed with the wonderful grandparents my kids had and told me how jealous they were that my kids had grandparents that played with their grandkids and gave them so much love and attention.